Wedding Quotes

Below are some humourous quotes made by famous people on the subject of weddings and relationships.

Funny Wedding Quotes

Humourous Wedding Quotes

Socrates
By all means marry. if you get a good wife you will become happy, if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher.

Jean Kerr
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Grouch Marx
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marie Corelli
I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every mornig, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Samuel Johnson
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

Cher
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him.

Robert Frost
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

Helen Rowland
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

Before marriage a man will lay awake all night thinking about something you said, after marriage he'll fall asleep before you have finished saying it.

Oscar Wilde
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

No man should have a secret from his wife. She invariably finds it out.

Katherine Whitehorn
No nice men are good at getting taxis.

Catherine II of Russia
Men make love more intensely at 20, but make love better however, at 30.

Maryon Pearson
Behind every great man is a surprised woman.

George Bernard Shaw
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

Agatha Christie
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested in her he becomes.

Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he's in love with her

George Nathan
Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a particular brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw in his job and go to work in the brewery.

Marion Smith
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women.

Ogden Nash
All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Mae West
It's not the man in my life that count, it's the life in my men.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

The Bible
Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing.

Dorothy Parker
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Marcel Achard
Women like silent men, they think they are listening.

Jean Harlow
I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man.

Anonymous
The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake.

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognised by the police.

A husband's last words should always be "OK buy it"

Nothing makes a good wife like a good husband.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you have are 2 hearts and a diamond. By the end you'll wish you had a club and a spade.

Wedding Quotes
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